Tag Archives: turquoise jeep

Brian McKnight actually writes a memorable song & the Internet loses its GATDAMN mind

i’m sure by now it’s already old news, and i’ve already had my say on the matter on one of the many vids of it on YouTube (my comment’s currently been upped to the top becos of its succinct breakdown of why ppl suck), but come.the fuck.on already. have we collectively decided to shove our sense of humour up our asses? is this backlash(ish) reaction from some of these seemingly die-hard BM fans just a TAD over-the-top? & are the majority of mainstream r&b listeners humourless and fickle?! the fuck is goin on witchyoos? YOU’RE MEANT TO LAUGH. Brian has essentially hit upon a style of online r&b performance art that has been so lovingly perfected by the Turquoise Jeep troupe over the years (which i have covered extensively throughout the life of this blog), but is most-associated with the ever-evolving R. Kelly (piss-free since…whenever the fuck that entire thing was, i forget).

i sorta understand the general reaction (more of a ‘balk’, really) against this type of ‘music’, however, stop being a fucking nerd for one second and enjoy a well-written, expertly-sung, vintage-Stevie-chord-havin sexy yet dirty yet hilarious ode to one of the few things that actually MATTERS in this world: THE PUSSY.

apparently shit got so out of hand B deleted the original video from his YouTube account amidst accusations ranging from him selling out n losing his edge, to more convoluted theories that he had tested the waters at SERIOUSLY trying to exclusively be that kind of artist (aka going “Full Kells”), deciding along the way (after gauging our reaction) if he originally meant it as a joke or if it was a serious tune. but i like to keep it a bit more simple: the song is a CHEEKY BANGER. someone trademark that phrase cos it’s the best description i can think of for it, a term that sums up The Jeep, The Arruh & now…B McKNeezy (y’all can think up sumthn better). “If You’re Ready To Learn” is an A grade entry into the pantheon of CHEEKY BANGERS. and halefuckinglujah, Brian McKnight thinks the same thing as he intends to finish and release the song VERY SOON.

(i know it’s cooler calling the song “Let Me Show You How Your Pussy Works”, but B does state clearly the name of the song is “If You’re Ready To Learn” so i’ma just stick to that). feel free to download the mp3 of this now-viral video (just the song bits) courtesy of urs truly (honestly i couldn’t stop listening to it so i had to mp3 that shit).


UPDATE: blog poast now comes with Brian McKnight co-sign via twitter. now go squirt THAT out your vaginas.


brand new Turquoise Jeep: HAPPY SEXGIVING (Yung Humma + Whatchyamacallit)

THA JEEP RETURNS! “Happy Sexgiving” has been in the works for a while now (the official holiday of Turquoise Jeep and all those who keep it riding). suss the FB event page for the actual holiday itself, and suss the new song + vid featuring Yung Humma + Whatchyamacallit. and although i say this with each new Jeep video, this time, without a doubt: THE HOTTEST TJ VIDEO CHICK THUS FAR. hands fucking down. Tummiscratch re-appears with another short but impactful cameo, and TJ co-founder Flynt Flossy appears in balloon-form (now watch the Internetz blow up with requests for F Dot Floss inflatable merch).


Pretty Raheem – Can He Move It Like This? (feat. Flynt Flossy)

BY SLICK MAHONY, THEY’VE DONE IT AGAIN. this song has been out for a minute, but finally Turquoise Jeep‘s own Pretty Raheem gets to shine in full multi-coloured suit music vid glory, bustin out them Guy/Aaron Hall dance moves (with a lil Kid N’ Play foot-smackin for good measure), complete with a requisite verse from founding father Flynt Flossy. ride that jeep all the way to T. Jeep Street and give it the fuck up for PRETTY.RA.HEEM.


Turquoise Jeep speaks on Beyonce doing the “Lemme Smang It” dance in her new video, “Run The World (Girls)”

7 months later, and even more of the world's population are learning how to Smang It

WHO RUN THE WORRRLLLDDDD? TURQUOISE JEEP! co-TJ founder & human elastic-man Flynt Flossy, along with “Lemme Smang It” star Yung Humma, recently caught wind of Beyonce‘s latest music video “Run The World (Girls)”, mostly notabley Bey’s brief inclusion of the “Smang It” dance near the end of it (round the 4:36 mark onwards >>> http://youtu.be/VBmMU_iwe6U). i thought i was the only one who noticed when the vid came out, then a couple days later The Jeep made the following video addressing the subtle big-ups.

and here’s a short comparison vid someone made on YouTube.



Whatchyamacallit – Licky Sticky (feat. Flynt Flossy)

and the hits just keep on comin! by now y’all know i champion the unstoppable force known as the Turquoise Jeep Records collective. and with the release of their debut album late last year, we are being rewarded with even more gloriously low-budget (but perfect-fitting) music vids. this time it’s Whatchyamacallit‘s turn to take the spotlight with a searing love ballad that takes the same principles of combining smashing and banging, but turns it up (and on) a notch by mixing “licky” with “sticky”. and i will leave it there to let your dirty dirty minds fill in the blanks (i think there’s an unintended sexual metaphor in there somewhere). and once again, it is of course a Tummiscratch beat (who makes a brief cameo near the end of the vid that borders on being god-like), and features Flynt Flossy with one of his most memorable verses yet. KTJR!


Dartmouth Aires cover Slick Mahony’s “Sex Syrup” A Cappella style

i will never ever get tired of the various ways fans are keeping The Jeep ridin (or KTJR!, which is now the established shorthand for Turquoise Jeep fans). these guys do an impressive job. i love how a capella groups all have this unified swag (you never a see personality-less dunce in an a capella group, and even if they WERE a personality-less dunce, u wouldn’t be able to tell while they were performing). ANYways, enjoy and share.


“Flow With The Floss”: Flynt Flossy’s Quick Dance Tutorial

Flynt Flossy: Dancing Machine

seems the Turquoise Jeep famalam have found another cool avenue to explore and expand The Jeep‘s ever-growing global fanbase. and i been saying on this here blog for a little while now, that the dancing abilities of the Jeep crew are slick as hell and part of the appeal. this aspect was taken to all-new highs by F. Dot Floss (yknow, the one who likes ladies & relations?) with the single/video Did I Mention I Like To Dance, where Flynt showed not only a propensity for comin up with catchy dance moves, but also amazing dexterity & natural talent. to that end, The Jeep are currently working on a full-length dance tutorial video which breaks down all the dances they’ve done in their vids so far. here’s a 3min mini tutorial from the man, the artist & co-founder of Turquoise Jeep Records: Flynt Flossy (baby).


Squareone (of B-Side Radio) talks to Turquoise Jeep CEO’s Flynt Flossy & Whatchyamacallit

new friend to the Confessions BLAUG, Squareone (and his rather dope Chi-City Blog), recently alerted me to the latest podcast of his own B-Side Radio program, which features none other than The Jeep’s founding fathers in a chill, informative & funny phone chat. wanna put a regular speaking voice to F Dot Floss & Whatchya? ur in luck. click below to download the mp3.


[original blog post + link here].


BRAND NEW TURQUOISE JEEP SMANGER!: Flynt Flossy – Did I Mention I Like To Dance

not only do the Turquoise Jeep camp know how to make classic tracks for u to sing along to, we now know for certain that pretty much all of em can bust a move somethin fierce! the beat is once again provided by Tummiscratch and it’s The Jeep at its most clubbiest (music-wise). HOWEVER, Flynt’s dancing prowess is the real star of this song and vid.

once my high-speed Internets kicks back in next week i’ma be practicing the moves in my bedroom, WORD BOND.


Lingus – Go Grab My Belt (Warm-Up Version)

this is strictly a warm-up version, first time we ever played it. we’re gonna record a proper live cover and send it to the dudes @ Turquoise Jeep. an acoustic version is also in the works.

the band:
Chris M. on vocals + percussion
Jeremy C. on guitar
Raffi K. on keys
Lou W. on bass
Vahé. K (dats me) on drums.

p.s. Lingus is just a placeholder name til we come up with sumthn else. but we were talking about cunnilingus on the night so it seemed appropriate.


Slick Mahony – Go Grab My Belt

TJR release their long-awaited full-length album: "Keep The Jeep Ridin'".

i wanna say “just when u think they couldn’t do it again”, but i had strong faith in Turquoise Jeep to deliver nothin but the HITS, boyeee. in celebration of this latest release, Slick‘s “Go Grab My Belt“, Turquoise Jeep Records have finally released their full length debut album available for purchase wherever you can find it on the internets. it includes such classics as “Lemme Smang It” (Yung Humma & Flynt Flossy), “Shuyamouf” (Flynt Flossy & Whatchyamacallit), “Cavities” (Flynt, Whatchyamacallit & Pretty Raheem) & Slick Mahony‘s eponymous debut single “Sex Syrup” (feat. Yung Humma), as well as a bunch of never-before-heard monster tracks in waiting. majority of the production is skillfully handled by DJ Tummiscratch (you know which songs are his depending on if he gets the obligatory “A TUMMISCRATCH BEAT” shout-out at the beginning of a song).

one thing i’ve come to admire a LOT about this clique (and it’s not just the pitch-perfect delivery of parody, satire AND catchy-ass songs) are the individual dances that come with the songs. Turquoise Jeep deliver the complete package, and i find myself listening to THEIR shit more than the contemporaries they’re artfully lampooning. if ur not already, i think it’s about time to jump on the wagon cos these dudes are about to blow THEE fuck up. like beyond just internet YouTube fame. i can feel it.