last week i was exposed to the utter genius that was Yung Humma and “Lemme Smang It“, which featured Flynt Flossy, one of the most bizarre take-offs of a commercial rapper i’ve ever seen, yet his look and sound and everything doesn’t seem to be BASED on anyone lol. everytime i see him on my computer screen i am in awe. now i can add Pretty Raheem and Whatchyamacallit to the list of Turquoise Jeep artists who are kickin more ass and makin cooler songs than the big-name counterparts they’re parodying. now open up wiiiiide for mo cavities.
Chinese Folk Song (feat. The Asian Christopher Walken)
mind-bogglingly awesome. i’ve often held theories as to the nature of the song and the situation. clearly Asian Christopher Walken is the ‘mack’ in the scenario, and he’s gotta choose between these two bitches who won’t stop bugging him while he’s trynah do his thang on an open green field. don’tchya just hate when ppl gotta be all up in ur shit n fuckin up ur game like that?
still one funny-ass (and actually quite bizarre, if u stop and think about the craziness of the character himself) moofie, made all the more hilario by the short inclusion of Ace’s landlord, “Mr. Shickadance“. his forced double-cough is what gets me the most.
Is This The Cocksucker Residence?
underrated performance from a biting satire film by John Waters called “Serial Mom“, starring Kathleen Turner as a serial killing suburban housewife and mother. in this scene, she says some naughty words.
one of two clips i’ve selected from The IT Crowd, cos it’s a pisser of a show and it’s my blog so SHUT IT UP, CAMILLE!
Memory IS RAM!
GAHAHAHAHA @ Moss’ utter indignation at Jen’s ignorance (with Roy disapprovingly shaking his head).
one of the deepest of the deep house mixes i’ve ever cobbled together, circa 2006. i know from what ppl have told me (and from personal experience), this mix is best suited for when you want to fall into a deep sleep. i spose i should be offended that people (including myself) are falling asleep to my selections, but in this case it’s a major compliment (it does have use outside of a sleeping-aid, i might add).
01. tosca – zuri (5:32) 02. tortured soul – fall in love (6:40) 03. pat barry – side to side (5:02) 04. n’dshea – city got soul (4:23) 05. magic number – fly away (6:18) 06. jazzelicious – fantastico (4:01) 07. kevin yost – pappy (3:50) 08. fudge – if i had a band (5:48) 09. itaal shur presents milk & honey – touch (attaboy dub) (3:44) 10. lovetronic – you are love (after hours payback session) (7:17) 11. the rurals – modulating sneakers (4:51) 12. latrice barnett – make my heart (5:42) 13. brothers of the underground – jazzy beach (3:31) 14. belladonna – midnight piano (7:23) 15. trentemøller – charge (5:52)
i’ve decided that i will periodically disseminate my film picks for essential stoner viewing. initially this was going to be a one-off post but the more films i watch (and they only increase exponentially as i get older), the more recommendations i have. the films in question may not directly involve weed or drugs as part of their plot or story, they may just be trippy in nature and therefore appeal more to the stoner’s sense of wonder and awe than the general sober individual. as a result this list is a mix of comedy, drama, fantasy and thought experiment exercise flicks. all offer something for the stoned mind, that is, an askew look at the world and reality that manifests itself either through belly laughs, introspection or just a general sense of awesome self-awareness that you are watching something fucking cool.
in no particular order:
Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey (1991)
in possibly one of the greatest sequels ever made, Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey actually kills off its two main stars and sends them to hell and back. in this classic scene, the boys have to play Death himself (aka “The Reaper”, played by the hugely underrated William Sadler) in order to win their freedom. i’m not sure what the reception was like for this film during its release, but watching it as an adult makes you realise how all-out and ballsy it was. the boys explore the inner-recesses of their minds in multiple chambers throughout hell, confront the devil, mug people in heaven in order to get past the gates to see God himself (depicted as a booming man’s voice), all in an inane attempt to preserve their “excellent” future legacy. watching the first film (which is also quite a trip, but not on par with this (though plenty of ppl feel the opposite)) will help you understand all the little bit characters that pop up throughout the film’s reality and hell sequences.
Head On (1998)
Head On is a decade-old Aussie film that turned out to be one of the most confronting and intense film experiences i’ve ever had. i only got around to watching it a year ago and it felt like i’d been thwacked over the head with a sack of potatoes by the end of it. the amazing performance by Alex Dimitriades gives the entire film a heavy, palpable, moody edge that completely absorbs you (even through the man-on-man action, for those that might be squeamish at such a sight). balancing the depiction of the traditional wog family living in Australia and trying to maintain some sort of cultural identity, with the grungy, complicated, bi-curious and aimless youth of the day makes it riveting to watch (especially as homosexuality and wogs is an eternally touchy subject). this balancing act shows the turmoil present in both aspects of Ari’s (the lead character played by Alex) life, and only adds to the tense washed out atmosphere director Ana Kokkinos helps foster.
The Big Lebowski (1998)
to try and describe the film would leave the uninitiated with a headspin. i watched this for the first time many years ago, and was clearly unready for the genius of the Coen brothers. last year, however, that all changed when i randomly decided to watch it again, for no real reason other than the fact that i was curious why people the world over were still, to this day, hugely obsessed with The Dude and the world of colourful fellow cohorts he inhabits. thankfully, the 2nd viewing did the trick. not only is this a stoner’s wet dream, it’s possibly one of the most quotable films ever made. A MUST SEE.
Waking Life (2001)
this scene from Richard Linklater‘s rotoscoped classic features Alex Jones on one of his many blood-boiling action-inducing rants that make you wanna get up and smash some shit in the name of freedom and justice n alla that good shit. the entire film follows a nameless kid as he strolls through his subconscious within a lucid dream, chatting and listening to all types of people giving their impression of what the world and the universe is all about. this kinda shit is pretty much the default flick for the D n’ M stoner who is looking to awaken a different part of their brain and think about some stuff, all while copping the absolutely unique visual style that is ‘rotoscoping’.
Dark City (1998)
the Aussies are at it again. actually Aussie cinema from the 80s onwards would truly trip even the most stoic stoner out for its sheer audacity and general grunginess. Dark City is a film from highly stylistic and uber-talented director Alex Proyas (who also has The Crow and I, Robot on his resumé). it is also one of the main blueprints the Wachowskis relied upon when shaping The Matrix (which is a nice way of saying they stole/borrowed a lot of shit from Dark City, not just themes and plot, but tone, visuals, entire scenes AND the re-using of constructed set pieces). the film’s protagonist is a man named “John” who has no idea who, where or WHEN he is. around him the world seems to come to a complete standstill, he’s being chased by weird albinos in trench coats, the sun never comes out, and buildings twist and turn and change into other structures (along with the people who also switch identities). either he’s on acid, or somethin hinky is goins on. the film works both on a sci fi level, and a deeply human one as it involves the figuring out and procuring of the human soul. there’s plenty here to get the high mind percolating.
Super Troopers (2001)
i can tell you right meow, this is a certified classic any which way you look at it complete with three stoner viewing essentials: quotables, characters, & weed-induced hilarity. the opening scene alone still warrants hefty belly laughs and uncontrollable chortling. overall it’s the playful nature of the film, and the comic prowess of Broken Lizard that make this (and most of their films) central to a healthy ‘stoner’s film diet’.
Trinity Is Still My Name (1971)
you could argue i’ve included this absolute CLASSIC film because of Bud Spencer and Terence Hill’s iconic ahead-of-their-time humour and comic timing, or because it’s one of the films that kick-started the “Spaghetti Western” genre (one of the first being the predecessor to this film, 1970’s They Call Me Trinity). but if you watch this clip, you’ll see that yes, it’s those things, but mostly? it’s THE FUCKING FOOD. nobody, i mean nobody knows how to eat some food on-screen better than these two. since childhood i’ve watched their films, and in every single one of them there is an extended scene of the two eating an exorbitant amount of food, and really just enjoying the shit out of it. i credit Bud, Terence and the writer/director behind most of their memorable team-ups, Enzo Barboni (aka E.B. Clucher), for making me insanely hungry and providing me with some pretty awesome munchies-related moments throughout my life. on a further note, please track down and watch the two Trinity films. in fact, track down and watch anything these two ever made together. you’ll soon realise you’ve been missing out on an entire classic era of cinema you never knew existed. word=bond.
Return To Oz (1985)
i’m not sure too many people have even heard of this Disney sequel to The Wizard Of Oz. instead of presenting a happy sing-songy munchkinland, this film is more akin to a dark, psychological fantasy film, with enough scary shit in it to leave an indelible mark on me and children like me who were young when they were first exposed to it. the land of Oz is in tatters as Dorothy (played by a young Fairuza Balk in her film debut) navigates it with her pet chicken and encounters all sortsa crazy fucked up shit (ok not my most eloquent description).
Scott Baio is in a lab accident that gives him telekinetic powers which he, of course, puts to good use by mentally mackin on chicks and other assorted stuff that would make u lose your shit. it’s the 80s, what else ya gonna do (i’ll tell you what else you gonna do, smoke up and enjoy a fat slice of 80s teen movie excess).
The Neverending Story (1984)
yet another supposed kids film that scared the crap out of me as a child. i’m sure everyone remembers Falcor. who the fuck wouldn’t? but does anyone remember the entire planet blowing up? NOPE. but i do.
back up in ur ESS, with tha res-uh-REC-shun! it’s time for the 2nd ever “10 Coolest Things I Found On YouTube This Week” post. are you excited? and for my dyslexics out there, are you EXITED?
Zed shuts up ducks
a tender moment between Zed and his lover Laura from “Police Academy 3”.
Bernie Mac – Motherfucker
R.I.P. to the late great Bernie motherfuckin’ Mac. i recently watched Spike Lee’s The Original Kings Of Comedy doco/live show last night for the first time, and in between dying from laughter, i thought Bernie’s sign-off to the whole show: “…and i’m OUT motherfucker!” was fucking gold. his little thoughtful addition post-show was also pretty poignant now that he’s no longer around.
Yung Humma – Lemme Smang It (feat. Flynt Flossy)
i’ve recently been passing this particular video on to friends via Fayzebuuk, sofar all the fellas seem to love it, and all the ladies seem to think it’s the most disgusting thing in the world. i, on the other hand, think it’s the work of absolute genius. definitely on a Club Noir level.
What Mike Tyson Wants In A Woman
…other than himself, of course.
Arnold Schwarzenegger – Fuck You And Me
Rattrap – We’re All Gonna Die
the only Transformer in history to sound like a wise guy New Yorkian punk. his catchphrase is legendary as he uttered it on what was supposed to be a children’s show, but was in fact one awesome sci fi saga known as Beast Wars. all due props to Scott McNeil for voicing this classic character.
You Got Any Cigarettes?
regular? or menthol? *wink*
Hawaiian Shirt Day
YYYEEAAAAHHHHHHH. yknow the best thing about Office Space? the extras they used as the nameless silent co-workers all look so convincingly depressed and soul-crushed, it just adds more realism to the lame moment you just witnessed (which i’m sure goes on in a lot of places of employ, thankfully i was never subject to dress codes allocated to specifics days).
irrationally inspirational. my long-held opinion that you can make an acoustic cover out of any song out there and make it sound sincere n heartfelt kinda came to fruition.
Lady And The Tramp – The Siamese Cat Song
riiiight, and i thought i only dreamed this happened…tha FUCK IS THIS SHIT?!? i remember being utterly in love with the film as a child, but even back then…there was something slightly unhinged about this scene. rubbed me the wrong way. years later, however, it is required stoner viewing. oh, and it may be a little racist. just a skoche. a tad. a TOUCH.
Quantic (aka Will Holland) releases a LOT of music in any given year, under many guises, with different sets of musicians and always aiming to achieve a certain type of sound with each release. his “Quantic Presenta Flowering Inferno” project from 2008, titled Death Of The Revolution, was a standout favourite of mine and tis an album i still listen to once a week. well, evidently it’s time for another dose of the Inferno with the release of the new album Dog With A Rope. judging from this song (and the scattered few that are on YouTube) it’s another winner. it’s been out since late June via Tru Thoughts so no excuses y’all, GET ON THAT SHIT.
if you think i’m the only one with an interesting and varied musical palette in my family, think again. twice. i would say my older brother was the impetus for my own musical journey (awww, he called it a “journey”), but it hit me the other day that my dad, who just recently turned 65, also has a bit of a multi-generational taste in music. considering that i’m as much of an oddball as he is, i shouldn’t be surprised. actually we share more than a few things in common (we both have broken our noses bad enough to warrant two surgeries, we both are avid photo-takers). so here’s a brief but varied assortment of songs mein papa has dug and subsequently put his ‘spin’ on over the years (he is a wog, after all).
note: most of these clips don’t let u watch/listen as embeds, ur guna have to click the “Watch on YouTube” link if u wanna listen to em
it’s hard for people to imagine my dad being a rebellious smartass playboy bachelor living on his own in the “big city” (in actuality, the rather “tiny-ass” but tré hip city of Beirut in the 70s), but by all accounts this was the case. aside from having awesomely uncanny fashion sense for a man, dad was into his ROCK music. he never really knew names or artists, but he knew the melodies and he would often hum them in his inimitable old-guy-hummin-classic-rock fashion.
when dad first randomly asked me to track down a song called “Poke Seled Ennie” many years ago, i laffed. but then i eventually started to grasp his method of communication (let’s just call it “D-Bonics” for now), and after he kept repeating the name “Tony Joe White. Tony Joe White” to me over and over with no context, i realised i had all the information i needed to conduct my search and placate my father’s excitement. turns out the song is pretty dang cool too.
don’t sit there scratching your head. throughout the 90s my brother and i had already firmly established ourselves as the most soulful hip-hoppingest white boys around, so this was the kinda shit we were pumping in our respective rooms while doing homework. the constant barrage of music throughout the house seemed to have an effect on dad, as he would randomly burst into the chorus of this song, showing special attention to the words “baby baby won’t you be mine” and singing it with this old man ‘drawl’ voice he puts on, turning the song into: “bayybee bayybee whunt you bee moooiiinnee”.
Maxwell is up there as one of THE best artists i’ve had the pleasure of listening to, and who i wanted to model my persona after (didn’t quite work out that way as my hair is nowhere near as cool and oh yeah, i’m not as fucking sexy, but eh *shrugs*). Blackstreet was very 94, so when 96 rolled around Maxwell’s Urban Hang Suite was the weapon of choice, the audio virus we would transmit throughout the house and, purely by proximity, get dad hooked onto yet another song. not surprisingly, dad loved the song so much mostly for the random bits that Max would exaggerate the song title and say: “shumthin shumthin” (with the added “h”).
i’m convinced that if dad coulda chosen to be ANYone else in the world, he woulda been Elvis Presley. the songs he recorded on tape off the radio, the tv specials on vhs, the touristy-lookin black & white postcards that he convinced me as a child were actual pics he took of Elvis (and i believed him and went around school tellin people this cos i was super fucking impressed), all tell me he loved the guy’s music. fuck, he’s got the same build and probly had as much swag as the man himself back in the day.
no real explanation necessary for why anyone would like this. alls i will say is the moment i found out dad worshiped at the altar of Hendrix and anyone else with guitar hero skills, he became infinitely cooler. we both seem to have an inner wild side that we can’t express through better means other than music such as this.
every single day of my life is an exercise in musical exploration. meaning if you immerse yourself in enough music on a daily basis, chances are one or two songs will STICK to you and you will, for all intents and purposes, fall the fuck in love. with a song. not a person, AUDIO. it’s hard to understand for some, but easy for others. this song in particular is from the spacey album The Polkadotted Stripe by Jaspects. these guys are usually one to play live soul/jazz/funk shit, this most recent album takes a turn toward club muzak, but done with a lil bit soul and stamped with a certain Jaspects flava. it’s a little hard to describe. listening to this conjured up mixed feelings at first: you think it’s gonna be a lame auto-tuned club track, but it turns into something quite lovely by the time the chorus comes along. and by then you should be hooked (hopefully).
it’s fair to say, i do an unfair amount of YouTubing, trolling around for yet one more elusive funny or amazing vid that i can pass on to my friends and make them think i’m the coolest guy EVAR (anything to make people laugh and/or smile). so i feel a weekly compilation will serve this addiction/psychological tick the best. BEHOLD, in no particular order…YOUTUBE VIDEOS..VIdeos..videos…deoos..os…
80s Nerds Looking For Love
guys. fellas. DUDES. i’m sure we’ve all felt like these social retards at some point in our lives. YES I LAUGHED MY BALLS OFF, but it doesn’t mean that their perpetual awkwardness and slightly unhinged yet well-intentioned creepiness didn’t strike home, reminding me of my completely awkward non-game-having self from back in the day (not too far ago, it didn’t change til i was frign 20). as for the video itself, it LOOKS like a dating service tape where hopeful bachelors (some with a penchant for “most phases of data processing”, now how does THIS guy not get laid, i ask you) leave what they think is a sexy message, but is, in fact, a painfully humorous look at how even the ugliest dudes in the world still want the same thing as everyone else: “no fattys, no HAMSTERS, no dopers, no stoners”.
Inverse Phase – Fuck You (8-Bit Version)
a carefully re-constructed chiptuned version of Cee Lo‘s monster smash super box office monkey moofie smash box office smash hit, Fuck You.
a couple of days ago the word BAMIX got stuck in my head, and i went in search of it on YouTube as a means of getting it OUT of my head. that’s kinda how all of these videos work. i get hooked on em, then i have to expose myself to it on YouTube a LOT in order to get over it and move on to the next thing that happens to catch my fancy (e.g. the word “fancy”…*sigh* it never ends). ANYway, in my searching i found what appears to be a Russian infomercial style ad for the blender of all blenders.
Kitteh + Turtle = BFFs Fo LYFE
sometimes all it takes is a kitteh ridin dirty on top of a turtle to bring some joy and happiness back into your bleak and repetitive existence…not that i’m talking about MY bleak and repetitive existence…just everyone’s bleak and repetitive existence in general…yknow? …shuttup.
from the current season of Dexter, the legendary Vince Masuka (played by C.S. Lee) mimes what he thinks went down at a crime scene while Dex does his patented voice-over commentary of the situation.
Lethal Weapon 5 (Trailer)
the long fabled but never seen Lethal Weapon 5 film, made by the fine folks from It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia. an extended version featuring Frank Reynolds‘ (DeVito) awkward and spot-on sex scene plus some other bits can be seen in the episode Dee Reynolds: Shaping America’s Youth. apparently the full version of the film will be included on the season 6 DVDs. and holy shitballs this is some FUNNY SHIT.
Bob Log III – Boob Scotch
local Aussie alt. rocker Bob Log III combining two of man’s favourite things into one glorious ode.
Shawn Kemp Statue
this mofo was more talented than we knew. i guess he was waiting for someone to chisel a real statue of him?
Super Troopers is a certified classic, simply for the amount of funny time-tested scenes that totally litter the film. in any given week i’ll have a piece of this flick floating around in the mushy parts of my cranium. this week, it is a clip that i employ quite often IRL, but mostly to confused looks. as a result i have concluded that i am cool as shit and y’all ain’t.
THE scene from 1987’s American Ninja 2: The Confrontation (cos there’s no confrontations in the other ones? *shrugs*). Steve James as Sgt. Curtis Jackson was probably one of the most over-acted characters in a ninja movie EVAR, but that’s kinda why he kicks ass.
let’s get one thing out of the way. i live in the faraway magical land of Australia, an island masquerading as a country. unless you have and pay for cable television, you miss out on a lot of cool shit that gets made and shown in the States. case in point, a new show by Shawn Ryan (The Shield) & Ted Griffin (Ocean’s Eleven + Matchstick Men) called Terriers. it stars Donal Logue (Hank Dolworth) and Michael Raymond-James (Britt Pollack) as two unlicensed Private Detectives who get into (and up to) all sortsa shit in and around San Diego. it’s been 10 great, non-cliché, emotional & entertaining episodes
sofar in its debut season, with about as much time dedicated to character-study as there is to the over-arching plot involving shady businessmen in a land-grab scheme. in-between those two constants are the one-off cases the duo take to make a living. while the description may not sound like the most original idea in the world (it ain’t), it is however in the execution of said ideas where the show really beats a new path. i cannot recommend getting into it enough (Michael Raymond-James in particular has grown on me quickly to become one of my favourite actors (True Blood fans will know him for his role as the unhinged Rene, in Terriers he plays someone very far-removed from that character)).
there’s almost something wistful, fatalistic and transitory about the lives these two lead, all of which is compounded by the highly addictive theme song and opening credits of the show. the song, titled Gunfight Epiphany by Robert Duncan, sounds like dark surfer rock and details, cryptically, the plot of the show (that’s my best guess as the lyrics are quite abstract).
the name Terriers is what PIs used to be referred to back in the day, and..come to think of it there is an episode or two involving A dog, but not a terrier (that sentence was lame but had to be written). the show’s also got a pretty sweet supporting cast consisting of Rockmond Dunbar (top marks for the parents who NAMED THIS GUY…i mean just wauw @ that name) playing Detective Mark Gustafson, Hank’s old partner before Hank got booted off the force presumably for reasons relating to his former alcohol addiction problems; Kimberly Quinn as Gretchen Dolworth, Hank’s ex-wife; & Laura Allen as Katie Nichols, Britt’s emotionally-damaged girlfriend. while these 3 characters are well-worn when having anything to do with a recovering-alcoholic-former-cop-turned-PI, they don’t exactly play to ‘type’, which means familiar scenarios resolve themselves in unfamiliar ways. e.g. there is one episode dealing with Hank’s ex re-marrying which could’ve ended up turning into every similarly-themed tv show cliché you could imagine, but somehow doesn’t. this sense of bucking the ‘expected’, coupled with the chemistry b/w the two leads (no doubt helped by the fact that they’re good mates in real life), makes terriers very familiar yet not at the same time.
the show also employs the vast talents of Tim Minear, who is most famous for his excellent work on Buffy, Angel, Firefly & Wonderfalls (plus a host of other quality shows). with only 3 episodes left in the 1st season, now would be a good time to hop on board and show some e-support for the show, as no one is certain if it’ll return for a 2nd (the curse of a tv show with heavy “critical acclaim” is that more often than not, the ratings are average).
a multi-faceted multimedia cornucopia of info, good taste & entertainment