Category Archives: miskellanious
December 20, 2010 10 Coolest Things I Found On YouTube: 02/12/2010 – 20/12/2010

these three little cranky fuckers are cranky cos they're high on sugar all the time. oh, and cos i ain't been doin my blogging duties so well lately.
SO, cos i been busy at work i’ve neglected the weekly installments of this little ball of entertainment. instead i’ma just chuck up the 10 coolest YouTube vids i find within any time period, at my own leisure (as it should be).
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Guy Flies Through Train On A Fire Extinguisher
every now and then i watch something like this, sit back in my chair with tears comin out my eyes, and marvel at how far humanity has come in its ability to make me lose my shit. well done.
Now I Show You Some Trick Or Two
clearly, the best fighters and action stars in the world can’t emote for shit, but DANG if it’s not entertaining.
Yooou Shallll Nottt PAAASSS!
i don’t how you guys felt, but i thought Forgetting Sarah Marshall was one of the best comedies of the last decade. it holds up to numerous repeat viewings, has got one-liners comin out the ASS and also makes sure to take the audience along for the emotional ride (sometimes embellished) that Peter goes through. i think any broken-hearted man with a sense of humour is gonna identify a lot with the emotions involved within the process of getting over someone who you love like mad, but aren’t actually a good match for. outside of that, Jason Segel (who penned the script) carries the film like a veteran, showing us equal parts vulnerable soft-hearted guy, angry volatile guy and geek-laden funny guy (the latter of which i chose to show here).
The Lollipop Guild
now it’s been a while since i saw The Wizard Of Oz, but this scene seems to have stayed with me for whatever reason. one thing is for sure, you don’t wanna fuck with The Lollipop Guild. the dude on the end looks like he’s bout to have a stroke. i bet they don’t even usually GREET people, but cos Dorothy wasn’t a munchkin The Wiz forced em into doing some lame PR shit (LOOK at how fucking cranky they are lol).
Niles & Frasier: BAAAALLLIIIIN’
an oft-misunderstood show, however that didn’t stop it for running for a decade. i guess the misunderstanding comes with the snooty tone of the show, which puts out a “i’m better than you” vibe, but which also cleverly uses that snootiness for some funny-as-hell moments. eventually you side WITH the snooty Cranes and laugh along with their faux highbrow humour.
What Are You Doing In My Toilet?
Leslie Nielsen recently passed away after an amazing career in tv and film. his brief role in one of my fav tv shows ever, Due South, as Buck Frobisher will be the bits i remember him best for (despite the Naked Gun films and all the other stuff he’s done, got a problem wit dat?!). Leslie played a fart-prone Canadian Mountie. NUFF SAID.
Unnecessarily Censored Smurfs
amazing what some well-placed b***s can do for a video (ohhh see what i did there?).
Purple Berries
im not even sure HOW i stumbled onto this twisted little display of genius editing skills, i WAS in a green haze at the time. HOWEVER, altho most people won’t get the humour, this vid is a perfect example of how you can squeeze laughs out of anything provided you have comic timing and editing skills. mostly through the elongation of certain scenes, and the slooowwwing dooowwnn of others. in the end you are left with a bizarre concoction, but one that’s gonna make people like me (ie those with advanced humour lobes in our brains) kakk til i drop.
Floating Head
lol quite a well-done take on what happens when an evil floating head haunts you, and the emotional attachment that can develop in the process.
LAUGHING TIME IS OVER
unfortunately this is the last vid, and, well, no more laughink for yous (for now).
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V.
Tags: bloodsport, buck frobisher, censored smurfs, due south, floating head, forgetting sarah marshall, frasier crane, guy rides fire extinguisher, jason segel, leslie nielsen, niles crane, purple berries, raneir wolfcastle, show you some trick or two, the lollipop guild, the simpsons, wizard of oz
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- Posted under miskellanious, moofies, teewee, youtubery
December 3, 2010 10 Coolest Things I Found On YouTube This Week: 25/11/2010 – 02/12/2010
cartoon Cosby enjoys my taste in random YouTubery, so why shouldn’t you?
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VB Ad – “Kebab”
the irony: this ad speaks more truth about the late-night Aussie tradition of grabbin a kebab after a night out on the piss than it does about the quality of beer that is VB.
Have You Been High Today?
i’m bleeding FUCKING A!
Pokemon!?
The Simpsons: still as funny as you remember it being. possibly even moreso when watching through more adult eyes.
I’m Gonna Fuck You In The Ass On Saturday
you KNOW no one fucks with The Jesus (even if he is a “peder-ass”). but he’s even more magnificent to watch when slooowwweed the fugggggg dooowwwnnnnnn….HWOOOOOHHHH!!! *multiple crotch thrusts*.
Flynt Flossy – Cavities (feat. Pretty Raheem & Whatchyamacallit)
last week i was exposed to the utter genius that was Yung Humma and “Lemme Smang It“, which featured Flynt Flossy, one of the most bizarre take-offs of a commercial rapper i’ve ever seen, yet his look and sound and everything doesn’t seem to be BASED on anyone lol. everytime i see him on my computer screen i am in awe. now i can add Pretty Raheem and Whatchyamacallit to the list of Turquoise Jeep artists who are kickin more ass and makin cooler songs than the big-name counterparts they’re parodying. now open up wiiiiide for mo cavities.
Chinese Folk Song (feat. The Asian Christopher Walken)
mind-bogglingly awesome. i’ve often held theories as to the nature of the song and the situation. clearly Asian Christopher Walken is the ‘mack’ in the scenario, and he’s gotta choose between these two bitches who won’t stop bugging him while he’s trynah do his thang on an open green field. don’tchya just hate when ppl gotta be all up in ur shit n fuckin up ur game like that?
VENTUUUUUURRAAAAAA…
still one funny-ass (and actually quite bizarre, if u stop and think about the craziness of the character himself) moofie, made all the more hilario by the short inclusion of Ace’s landlord, “Mr. Shickadance“. his forced double-cough is what gets me the most.
Is This The Cocksucker Residence?
underrated performance from a biting satire film by John Waters called “Serial Mom“, starring Kathleen Turner as a serial killing suburban housewife and mother. in this scene, she says some naughty words.
Friendface
one of two clips i’ve selected from The IT Crowd, cos it’s a pisser of a show and it’s my blog so SHUT IT UP, CAMILLE!
Memory IS RAM!
GAHAHAHAHA @ Moss’ utter indignation at Jen’s ignorance (with Roy disapprovingly shaking his head).
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V.
Tags: ace ventura, asian christopher walken, buffalaxed, cavities, cosby, Flynt Flossy, friendface, john waters, kathleen turner, kebabs, mr. shickadance, pokemon, pretty raheem, RAM, serial mom, simpsons, The Big Lebowski, the it crowd, the jesus, VB, whatchyamacalli
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- Posted under miskellanious, moofies, muzak, teewee, youtubery
November 30, 2010 Mista Vee’z ”Top 10 Stoner Fillums” #001
i’ve decided that i will periodically disseminate my film picks for essential stoner viewing. initially this was going to be a one-off post but the more films i watch (and they only increase exponentially as i get older), the more recommendations i have. the films in question may not directly involve weed or drugs as part of their plot or story, they may just be trippy in nature and therefore appeal more to the stoner’s sense of wonder and awe than the general sober individual. as a result this list is a mix of comedy, drama, fantasy and thought experiment exercise flicks. all offer something for the stoned mind, that is, an askew look at the world and reality that manifests itself either through belly laughs, introspection or just a general sense of awesome self-awareness that you are watching something fucking cool.
in no particular order:
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Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey (1991)
in possibly one of the greatest sequels ever made, Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey actually kills off its two main stars and sends them to hell and back. in this classic scene, the boys have to play Death himself (aka “The Reaper”, played by the hugely underrated William Sadler) in order to win their freedom. i’m not sure what the reception was like for this film during its release, but watching it as an adult makes you realise how all-out and ballsy it was. the boys explore the inner-recesses of their minds in multiple chambers throughout hell, confront the devil, mug people in heaven in order to get past the gates to see God himself (depicted as a booming man’s voice), all in an inane attempt to preserve their “excellent” future legacy. watching the first film (which is also quite a trip, but not on par with this (though plenty of ppl feel the opposite)) will help you understand all the little bit characters that pop up throughout the film’s reality and hell sequences.
Head On (1998)
Head On is a decade-old Aussie film that turned out to be one of the most confronting and intense film experiences i’ve ever had. i only got around to watching it a year ago and it felt like i’d been thwacked over the head with a sack of potatoes by the end of it. the amazing performance by Alex Dimitriades gives the entire film a heavy, palpable, moody edge that completely absorbs you (even through the man-on-man action, for those that might be squeamish at such a sight). balancing the depiction of the traditional wog family living in Australia and trying to maintain some sort of cultural identity, with the grungy, complicated, bi-curious and aimless youth of the day makes it riveting to watch (especially as homosexuality and wogs is an eternally touchy subject). this balancing act shows the turmoil present in both aspects of Ari’s (the lead character played by Alex) life, and only adds to the tense washed out atmosphere director Ana Kokkinos helps foster.
The Big Lebowski (1998)
to try and describe the film would leave the uninitiated with a headspin. i watched this for the first time many years ago, and was clearly unready for the genius of the Coen brothers. last year, however, that all changed when i randomly decided to watch it again, for no real reason other than the fact that i was curious why people the world over were still, to this day, hugely obsessed with The Dude and the world of colourful fellow cohorts he inhabits. thankfully, the 2nd viewing did the trick. not only is this a stoner’s wet dream, it’s possibly one of the most quotable films ever made. A MUST SEE.
Waking Life (2001)
this scene from Richard Linklater‘s rotoscoped classic features Alex Jones on one of his many blood-boiling action-inducing rants that make you wanna get up and smash some shit in the name of freedom and justice n alla that good shit. the entire film follows a nameless kid as he strolls through his subconscious within a lucid dream, chatting and listening to all types of people giving their impression of what the world and the universe is all about. this kinda shit is pretty much the default flick for the D n’ M stoner who is looking to awaken a different part of their brain and think about some stuff, all while copping the absolutely unique visual style that is ‘rotoscoping’.
Dark City (1998)
the Aussies are at it again. actually Aussie cinema from the 80s onwards would truly trip even the most stoic stoner out for its sheer audacity and general grunginess. Dark City is a film from highly stylistic and uber-talented director Alex Proyas (who also has The Crow and I, Robot on his resumé). it is also one of the main blueprints the Wachowskis relied upon when shaping The Matrix (which is a nice way of saying they stole/borrowed a lot of shit from Dark City, not just themes and plot, but tone, visuals, entire scenes AND the re-using of constructed set pieces). the film’s protagonist is a man named “John” who has no idea who, where or WHEN he is. around him the world seems to come to a complete standstill, he’s being chased by weird albinos in trench coats, the sun never comes out, and buildings twist and turn and change into other structures (along with the people who also switch identities). either he’s on acid, or somethin hinky is goins on. the film works both on a sci fi level, and a deeply human one as it involves the figuring out and procuring of the human soul. there’s plenty here to get the high mind percolating.
Super Troopers (2001)
i can tell you right meow, this is a certified classic any which way you look at it complete with three stoner viewing essentials: quotables, characters, & weed-induced hilarity. the opening scene alone still warrants hefty belly laughs and uncontrollable chortling. overall it’s the playful nature of the film, and the comic prowess of Broken Lizard that make this (and most of their films) central to a healthy ‘stoner’s film diet’.
Trinity Is Still My Name (1971)
you could argue i’ve included this absolute CLASSIC film because of Bud Spencer and Terence Hill’s iconic ahead-of-their-time humour and comic timing, or because it’s one of the films that kick-started the “Spaghetti Western” genre (one of the first being the predecessor to this film, 1970′s They Call Me Trinity). but if you watch this clip, you’ll see that yes, it’s those things, but mostly? it’s THE FUCKING FOOD. nobody, i mean nobody knows how to eat some food on-screen better than these two. since childhood i’ve watched their films, and in every single one of them there is an extended scene of the two eating an exorbitant amount of food, and really just enjoying the shit out of it. i credit Bud, Terence and the writer/director behind most of their memorable team-ups, Enzo Barboni (aka E.B. Clucher), for making me insanely hungry and providing me with some pretty awesome munchies-related moments throughout my life. on a further note, please track down and watch the two Trinity films. in fact, track down and watch anything these two ever made together. you’ll soon realise you’ve been missing out on an entire classic era of cinema you never knew existed. word=bond.
Return To Oz (1985)
i’m not sure too many people have even heard of this Disney sequel to The Wizard Of Oz. instead of presenting a happy sing-songy munchkinland, this film is more akin to a dark, psychological fantasy film, with enough scary shit in it to leave an indelible mark on me and children like me who were young when they were first exposed to it. the land of Oz is in tatters as Dorothy (played by a young Fairuza Balk in her film debut) navigates it with her pet chicken and encounters all sortsa crazy fucked up shit (ok not my most eloquent description).
Zapped! (1982)
Scott Baio is in a lab accident that gives him telekinetic powers which he, of course, puts to good use by mentally mackin on chicks and other assorted stuff that would make u lose your shit. it’s the 80s, what else ya gonna do (i’ll tell you what else you gonna do, smoke up and enjoy a fat slice of 80s teen movie excess).
The Neverending Story (1984)
yet another supposed kids film that scared the crap out of me as a child. i’m sure everyone remembers Falcor. who the fuck wouldn’t? but does anyone remember the entire planet blowing up? NOPE. but i do.
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V.
Tags: Alex Dimitriades, Alex Jones, Alex Proyas, Ana Kokkinos, Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey, Broken Lizard, Bud Spencer, Dark City, Fairuza Balk, Falcor, Head On, Return To Oz, Richard Linklater, Rotoscoping, Scott Baio, Stoner Movies, Super Troopers, Terence Hill, The Big Lebowski, The Coen Brothers, The Neverending Story, They Call Me Trinity, Trinity Is Still My Name, Waking Life, William Sadler, Zapped!
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- Posted under miskellanious, moofies, youtubery
November 24, 2010 songs my dad likes
if you think i’m the only one with an interesting and varied musical palette in my family, think again. twice. i would say my older brother was the impetus for my own musical journey (awww, he called it a “journey”), but it hit me the other day that my dad, who just recently turned 65, also has a bit of a multi-generational taste in music. considering that i’m as much of an oddball as he is, i shouldn’t be surprised. actually we share more than a few things in common (we both have broken our noses bad enough to warrant two surgeries, we both are avid photo-takers). so here’s a brief but varied assortment of songs mein papa has dug and subsequently put his ‘spin’ on over the years (he is a wog, after all).
note: most of these clips don’t let u watch/listen as embeds, ur guna have to click the “Watch on YouTube” link if u wanna listen to em :/
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it’s hard for people to imagine my dad being a rebellious smartass playboy bachelor living on his own in the “big city” (in actuality, the rather “tiny-ass” but tré hip city of Beirut in the 70s), but by all accounts this was the case. aside from having awesomely uncanny fashion sense for a man, dad was into his ROCK music. he never really knew names or artists, but he knew the melodies and he would often hum them in his inimitable old-guy-hummin-classic-rock fashion.
when dad first randomly asked me to track down a song called “Poke Seled Ennie” many years ago, i laffed. but then i eventually started to grasp his method of communication (let’s just call it “D-Bonics” for now), and after he kept repeating the name “Tony Joe White. Tony Joe White” to me over and over with no context, i realised i had all the information i needed to conduct my search and placate my father’s excitement. turns out the song is pretty dang cool too.
don’t sit there scratching your head. throughout the 90s my brother and i had already firmly established ourselves as the most soulful hip-hoppingest white boys around, so this was the kinda shit we were pumping in our respective rooms while doing homework. the constant barrage of music throughout the house seemed to have an effect on dad, as he would randomly burst into the chorus of this song, showing special attention to the words “baby baby won’t you be mine” and singing it with this old man ‘drawl’ voice he puts on, turning the song into: “bayybee bayybee whunt you bee moooiiinnee”.
Maxwell is up there as one of THE best artists i’ve had the pleasure of listening to, and who i wanted to model my persona after (didn’t quite work out that way as my hair is nowhere near as cool and oh yeah, i’m not as fucking sexy, but eh *shrugs*). Blackstreet was very 94, so when 96 rolled around Maxwell’s Urban Hang Suite was the weapon of choice, the audio virus we would transmit throughout the house and, purely by proximity, get dad hooked onto yet another song. not surprisingly, dad loved the song so much mostly for the random bits that Max would exaggerate the song title and say: “shumthin shumthin” (with the added “h”).
i’m convinced that if dad coulda chosen to be ANYone else in the world, he woulda been Elvis Presley. the songs he recorded on tape off the radio, the tv specials on vhs, the touristy-lookin black & white postcards that he convinced me as a child were actual pics he took of Elvis (and i believed him and went around school tellin people this cos i was super fucking impressed), all tell me he loved the guy’s music. fuck, he’s got the same build and probly had as much swag as the man himself back in the day.
no real explanation necessary for why anyone would like this. alls i will say is the moment i found out dad worshiped at the altar of Hendrix and anyone else with guitar hero skills, he became infinitely cooler. we both seem to have an inner wild side that we can’t express through better means other than music such as this.
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V.
Tags: Blackstreet, Deep Purple, Elvis Presley, Jimi Hendrix, Maxwell, Songs My Dad Likes, Tony Joe White
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